In this episode of Win Sales Now, we unpack your “Emotional Quotient” or “EQ.” As you’ll see and hear EQ is a measure of how you show up in your role in sales. It will help you to better understand why you do what it is that you do and also show you what you can do to improve.

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Podcast Transcript


Robert Brus 0:08
Well g’day everyone. Welcome to Go All In and Win Sales Now. We’ve got a really special show for you today. As you can see, we’re not in the studio in Cronulla. We’re in this beautiful home you to your parents are

Daniel Tolson 0:22
like this is the hub amongst the gum trees.

Robert Brus 0:24
Absolutely. And what’s happening in the background? It’s just absolutely sensational here it’s green as well. So there was a drought in Sydney. Not here. Absolutely not, not he. Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the channel. If this is your first time he this show is called wind sales now and go all in and what you’re going to do is you’re going to get a whole lot of really practical sales tips that you can take away and this is designed for you to listen and watch for 2030 minutes and to take away and implement some skills here. And we’ve got a really special show today. It’s about emotional,

Daniel Tolson 0:56
emotional quotient or this is the the lightest technology instilling.

Robert Brus 1:01
And it’s all about why you do what you do and how you behave the way you behave. So you’re definitely going to get something out of this. I know for me personally, I haven’t seen this stuff before, before Daniel brought it to me. And that’s the whole point of this channel is to share with you, ladies and gentlemen, new technology and new things that you’ve never seen before that you can implement and execute on straightaway to win sales. Now, maybe you want to win them now. Absolutely. So this is all this is like a sales skills index, isn’t it? So tell us a little bit about that.

Daniel Tolson 1:33
Well, emotional intelligence is the single biggest predictor of success in the sales when we have looked at empathy. This is your ability to read the emotional makeup of your customer, right? And then once you can read that emotional makeup, it’s your ability to change the communication and present your ideas in a way that they understand. And then be able to constantly read the feedback and adapt adjust and respond and without social and Intelligence, you can’t make sales. What perceives that is the emotional intelligence. And that’s understanding why you think and feel the way that you do understanding your strengths and your weaknesses. Because most salespeople, they’re very certain on their strengths, but they’re still confused about their weaknesses. And when we have a weakness, we can’t be competent, we can be confident, but I can’t be competent, and women are competent, then what ends up happening over time is we lose our confidence. So using emotional intelligence, we can become more aware of who we are. Next, we have to have self regulation. In sales people are on this roller coaster, and we can control our activities. But we have no control over when the sale takes place. Right. It’s like when you plant a seed in the ground, you can choose the right soil. You can wait for the rain, but the seed will sprout when it’s ready. And then thirdly is a level of motivation. And what’s happening in society today is that a lot of sales people they’re stuck in the status. Quote, they have motivation to earn maybe $100,000. But they seemed a loop around 100,000. And it speaks about emotional intelligence that keeps us stuck there. But once we increase that emotional intelligence, we can rapidly increase the income. This science and technology is being used every seven seconds globally, every seven seconds, every seven seconds on having somebody take one of our systems globally

Robert Brus 3:26
incredible stuff, incredible stuff. If you’ve ever wondered why you’ve reached the ceiling, maybe it’s because you don’t know why you’re behaving the way you do. And before we kicked off this we had obviously we had a conversation about what we’re going to talk about today. And I’ve got a couple of notes here. The emotional quotient and doing these insights is all about understanding your emotions, your wise and how you appeal to the other person that you’re selling to right so that if you’re unaware of that, and you don’t have the emotional or social intelligence to know those things, You’re only going to get yourself so far. Is this about highlighting weaknesses? Or is it more about highlighting your strengths and playing to your strengths or picking up your weaknesses? Or is it a bit about

Daniel Tolson 4:10
its birth? So you know, I said to my clients, Rob, is, if you have a motor vehicle, let’s say you got a BMW five series. If that five series has one tie that’s gone flat, you can’t use that vehicle towards peak performance. You can be the best driver, you can have the best vehicle the fastest engine, the lightest fuel technology. But if there’s a flat tire and you don’t attend to it, you can never get the full performance. So we have to learn to have a look at our strengths. And we have to have look at what I like to call our blind spots. Then we all have blind spots. I was in San Diego A few years ago, and I was driving down the freeway, and they drove on the wrong side of the road, the Americans, they sit in the left hand side, the wrong side of the car. So I’m driving along and I put my indicator on then I look over my shoulder, oops, in there’s nobody there and I change lines. And as I change lines, there’s A sock was right up my inside the collective. And he’s looked at me and he swerved, and then I switched back to the other line. But then there’s a u haul truck, doesn’t mean I’m a bad driver, there’s just something in my blind spot. And I could walk there. And what happens in sales is, if we’re not aware of these blind spots, we wipe out we lose the south, we don’t get paid. So this helps us understand our strengths. So we can utilise those more often. And if you have a strength that you’re not aware of how to use it. Exactly. If you don’t know that you have a blind spot. It’s that unknown unknown. You don’t know what you don’t know. It’s not what you know, that hurt you. Yeah, it’s what you don’t know that hurts you. So this helps you understand both strengths and weaknesses.

Robert Brus 5:43
So I think that a lot of people that are watching this and listening to this would obviously be able to relate to what you’re saying. And they would probably know tell me what you think in the comments below. And by the way, this is your first time here. Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button. Give us a thumbs up and ring the bell as well so you never miss an episode. But you probably know what some of your weaknesses already are. Like, if I’m not so great at lead generation, well, I need to do more lead generation. If I’m procrastinating because of something and it’s causing a block or calling me back from something I probably already know that what is somebody going to glean and learn from taking a little tests like this.

Daniel Tolson 6:18
They really clean, understandable KPIs and K IRAs in the sales process, we can have a look at how we think and feel because some people aren’t generating leads because they have self limiting beliefs and dance brought out their ability to generate it. So we will unpack today, the difference between a sales person earning $600,000 per year with high levels emotional intelligence, in what we know with emotional intelligence is that for every one point improvement in your emotional intelligence, your salary will go up. $1,750 Oh, baby, I’m going to get

Robert Brus 6:53
that I’m going to lift that point that score. I gotta

Daniel Tolson 6:55
get it up and get lifted up to work for it. The other thing we know people with high levels emotional intelligence. Globally, an additional $39,000 per year more same job pretty significant, right? Same service, same product, their massive it’s because they’re more emotionally intelligent in what we’ve got in front of us here today, the sales person who earns $600,000 per year, and somebody who only earns $30,000 per year,

Robert Brus 7:19
why don’t we unpack it and let’s get into it. We’ve got these two side by side here. And let’s have a look at the differences that we can see in the container. It’s like a comparison and the characteristics is what we’re sort of looking at, you might have done a, an online profile of some description before like maybe a disc profile, or there’s similar personality type profiling tools in and this one is related to sales, right? Absolutely.

Daniel Tolson 7:43
This is this is our emotional quotient and making a understand how we show up in sales and in what we know any deficiency here, you know, emotional intelligence will cause our sales to drop, any improvements will cause ourselves to increase. So we’ll have a lucky First of all, this is the MMO Question assessment of somebody earning $300,000 a year in the first thing I look at here on these reports is that this person has huge amounts of potential that hasn’t been tapped into. And that’s the first thing that I see. We can see on the other person who’s earning $600,000 use this data to tap into their emotional intelligence potential. And the difference on the score, he is only 20 points. So the person who’s earning $30,000 a year, and the person who’s earning 60,000 $600,000 per year, there’s only a 20 point variation in emotional intelligence. But your message might be as good as mine $570,000 difference big difference over 20 points, your head message, so we’re going to pack it one by one and there’s five key areas in emotional intelligence. The first one is self awareness. And this is understanding why you think and feel the way that you do. But with all the research over the past 25 years is that only 36 percent of the population understand what they’re thinking feeling. It’s not many. It’s another only a third of people really wanted people.

Robert Brus 9:06
So to be two thirds of people are walking around not knowing why they think it feels the way that they do. They have no idea.

Daniel Tolson 9:12
In in the work of Napoleon Hill, he says you become what you think about most of the time. Absolutely. Then your thoughts. According to the latest research in psychology, your thoughts influence 95% of your emotions. So imagine that you don’t know what’s running through your mind. It means you don’t understand how you truly feeling. If you don’t know what you’re thinking, when it comes to self regulation, you can’t change that thought. And then venture eventually you get the end of motivation, and you don’t have the energy to push your goals. So the first part is self awareness. And we’re going to pack these bit by bit and I’ll keep explaining and educating you on what this actually is as we go through because the number 130 $30,000 per year. What we can see here is when it comes to this self awareness, the average score in the population is 74 points out of 100 or 100, this person comes in at 56,

Robert Brus 10:03
much lower than the average, so much lower than the average.

Daniel Tolson 10:06
So we know, this person doesn’t understand what they think and feel right don’t understand their thoughts about their products. They don’t understand what they’re thinking about their day more planning. In comparison to the person who’s earning $600,000 per year, this person knows themselves incredibly well. Score comes in at 86, where the average population comes in at 74. So it’s well above the average person is clear on who they are, why they do, what they do, where they going in life, how they’re going to get the make sense. And so when they start their day, they’ve got a clear target. This person here is got a moving target and they don’t have stop it which is

Robert Brus 10:44
stressful as hell.

Daniel Tolson 10:46
When it comes to self regulation, this is the ability to to control your thoughts in your feelings, and most people can’t control their thoughts in the thoughts that produce the feelings in the biggest problem with salespeople today is that they’ve hearing the word no. And as you start to think about the word know, you start to feel the fear of rejection. And then instead of going out and prospecting you making coffee scanning Facebook avoiding friends, a long lunches, all that avoidance behaviour. So this person here, school comes in at 65 in comparison to 73. And this is what we can say emotionally, motivation, the person earning $50,000 a year motivation is your ability to get a rejection and keep asking for the order to get to know in the key proceeding through the sales process fight off in spite of the score comes in at 60. So imagine this person’s battery is at 60% capacity near so their energy is always low. Where this person earning 600,000 per year score comes in at 93 the almost fully charged bring it give me a no give me a no give me know what else you got the best you got. Don’t just Keep going and they don’t stop. Yeah, you can’t beat somebody who refuses to quit and the $30,000 person quits not because they’re a bad person, but because they just don’t have enough motivation to get back up to keep going and going.

Robert Brus 12:14
Yeah, yeah, let’s beat you down and sales is a difficult profession to be in. And you might have found yourself selling something before that you caught it hearts not really in it. And then when you get to know you, and and a lot of organisations have a revolving door of salespeople that can be very expensive for them, right. And motivation is a key factor to whether or not they’re successful.

Daniel Tolson 12:36
When big companies called me and they said, Daniel, let’s have a look at the emotional intelligence on these candidates. And I can predict sales success before the person walks in the door by looking at their emotional intelligence. This person earning $600,000 per year, his new employer asked me to profile him and I profiled him. I said, this is the guy you want. This is the guy that you don’t want what happens If you’re in an organisation, and you’re the owner or the sales manager and you have somebody like that lower performing, their numbers are a little bit lower. Is there something that they can do to lift those things up? Absolutely. The emotional intelligence is fluid sounds like water, you can put more down of the pipe in with emotional intelligence. It’s not fixed. You know, with your IQ. It’s fixed at about age 15 might go up and down a couple of points, but doesn’t change what your emotional intelligence you can keep growing it. So a good example would be a client of mine in the UK, she increased her levels of motivation by 117%, massive overnight in month period, and the corresponding increase in her alipay went from 15 pounds per hour to 125 pound per hour

Robert Brus 13:47
massive different companies last year,

Daniel Tolson 13:49
and you can learn this, this is all loanable. Yeah, so when companies bring them in, they say, well, Daniel, how can you improve this awareness? How can you help them with their self regulation? How can you help them with motivation. We take them through those processes.

Robert Brus 14:02
He is a key things that you do with people or is it on a case by case basis,

Daniel Tolson 14:07
there’s key things because human behaviour, let’s say somebody has low self awareness, then you can teach them how to have high self awareness. Yeah, so you can teach them, every person will have a corresponding problem that’s slightly different. But as long as it falls under the air of self awareness, we can deal with self awareness and coach them through that make sense, then we have different mental tools to coach them through self regulation, then we have different mental tools to take them through motivation as well.

Robert Brus 14:35
It almost sounds a little bit fun

Daniel Tolson 14:36
it is. But let’s have a look at what else we got, will break them down. We have social awareness, and this is the critical component here. social awareness is empathy. This is your ability to look at the customer and understand what they truly want. Not what they say, but how they feel I feel about it. Yeah. And then you’ve got to be able to gauge these responses. We also have social regulation. And again, that’s your ability communicate your offer, to be persuasive to be charming. Yeah. And get people to like you. And if you can’t do that you can’t succeed. So the person who’s earning 30,000 a year score for social awareness comes in at 62. Right versus the high performer at 75. And what’s the average? The average 75 and five. So this person he was right

on good water and the average on the average man still

600 K. Yeah, on target earnings issue. $1.2 million? Well, in just one extra point in here, can make all the difference in social regulation, this person and we’re going to break the psychology Dan, a few minutes. School comes in at 65 averages 76. And what do we got here on the good side, the good side 8476 right. So we’re going to break these down and what you can start to do is you can start to identify these success factors and limiting factors in your personal sales career. And there’s nothing wrong with having a limitation right. The only thing that’s wrong about it is if you choose not to do anything about it. Well, you can’t fix the problem if you don’t know what the problem is. So the first step is to actually take one of these assessments to understand exactly where you are in relation to where you want to be, because I’m certain that that person working and earning $30,000 a year wants to work and earn $600,000 a year. Nobody will know. Yeah, of course, which is the panellists? No. Yes. So we’ll show you how to pay more. Oh, actually know people get paid more.

Robert Brus 16:29
Yeah, that’s the one you’re gonna make more money, hey, the way.

Daniel Tolson 16:33
So we’ll now break down the difference between the person earning 600,000 a year and the person who earns $30,000 and the person earning $30,000 a year when it comes to self awareness. They have trouble identifying their passions. And what happens here in this person’s life is they have a string of unfulfilling jobs. So the job that the person’s email the product that they’re selling, it doesn’t excite them. Yeah. And what I learned at age 19 Is that enthusiasm and constrained enthusiasm? will outperform skill? 10 to one. Yeah, absolutely. As long as you’re enthusiastic about what you’re selling, it’s a transfer. People can see it because you’re a lot on your toes. Yeah, but this person is didn’t care about the job, but didn’t care about the product. And this is an emotional problem.

Robert Brus 17:22
And I think we’ve all been intuitively in that position where you’ve been in a role or a job that you just don’t like, it just doesn’t connect with you. But we all know people that go from job to job to job that are really unhappy in what it is that they do. And it’s not about the jobs, because you take yourself with you wherever you go. It’s about these levels of emotional intelligence that you have him. So that’s what’s

Daniel Tolson 17:44
called, that’s the root cause of the problem. That’s the root cause. And then the second part here is that the person is struggling to make money. They lack self confidence, which makes it difficult for him to express his true emotions. So imagine a sales person that lack the confidence would you buy from them?

Robert Brus 18:03
I don’t know many think we can we can do together.

Daniel Tolson 18:06
People like competent people

Robert Brus 18:08
wear it as opposed to look, we’ve we finished here I got to the end of my presentation. How is it that you see us working together? Absolutely.

Daniel Tolson 18:14
You got to have confidence when it comes to closing. Because most people, they fear making mistake they fear rejection. So it comes to the clothes and their confidence disappears. And you can see it in their body language.

Robert Brus 18:26
They will shrinking violet down and

Daniel Tolson 18:29
they say how would you like to think about it?

Robert Brus 18:31
One of the really interesting things that I learned about sales and doing that, doing it for years and years just as an as an entrepreneur, we always always wondered why people struggled with asking for the sale. Because particularly in my organisation when I’ve had people working for me and go out there and it’s like, well, you know, I just listened to you on the phone near you didn’t ask that person for the sale. What Why didn’t you do that? And then walk all Well, I didn’t think that they were ready to buy and it’s like if you don’t You’re never gonna know. And if they say no to you, it might not mean might not be a no. Might just me Not right now or not at that price, or I’ve got another question. Yeah, there’s some more going on there. But if you don’t even ask then wasn’t confident in asking for that. But your job is a sales person, then doing business development. He’s do ask for the sale. And it takes incredible emotional intelligence to be able to ask yourself, does

Daniel Tolson 19:25
it for this person? He, they didn’t realise they lack self confidence, right? So most people, I don’t like to get on the scales and brings it

Robert Brus 19:33
into this idea brings it into their sphere of understanding and influence things. I

Daniel Tolson 19:37
don’t like the look of the person they say in the mirror. Yeah. And you can’t fix a problem that you don’t know you have. Yeah, exactly. And so once this comes back into your awareness, the question before was how do you do this? Well, we start to improve self confidence and it’s going to be different for every person. Yeah. And what I know with self confidence, if you become confident in yourself, you become more confident your product. You believe that your product or service is going to change lives. And you demonstrate that people say I want what you’re having to talk about in the book when sales now Yeah, it’s the When Harry Met Sally selling model of selling media. So this is the this is the low performer. The other thing here with self awareness is they have difficulty prioritising tasks. So as I looked at this person schedule for the high value customers, all the customers are going to pay a lot of money went to the bottom of the list, right? And you can speak to all the low value no value clients first. So in eight hours, he only spoke to low value customers. And then when he needed the energy to close the big deals, he had no energy left

Robert Brus 20:39
here at the end of the day, your corner of the rover, you ready to go home? Yeah. So as

Daniel Tolson 20:43
we say, the wrong from Yes,

Robert Brus 20:45

Daniel Tolson 20:46
That’s really what started to hold him back. And that’s why he Island 30,000 he, but if we contrast that to the high performer, and you’re going to take some mental notes right now because if you just do what successful people do Emotional intelligence, you’ll get the exact same result. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You’ve just got to do what other successful people do. If you think like the successful people do, you’ll feel the same way. And if you feel the same way you’ll take the same

Robert Brus 21:14
actions. Yeah, absolutely. And remember Ladies and gentlemen, everything happens to watch first of all in your mind and your body and your feelings. And then actually you go and execute you on the

Unknown Speaker 21:37
right side. So let’s let’s contrast from 30 grand to 600 grand and the differences between somebody will come into work and kicking the carpet and avoiding everything called Data somebody that has high levels of motivation and is into it and is going all in literally from the minute I get to work all in on emotional intelligence in in again for the person earning $600,000 a year. Self Awareness school comes in 96. So already there Hi, this doesn’t happen naturally, these people have developed. So first of all, he understands his emotions in the impact on stress, right? So in America every year $300 billion is lost every year, because of stress. In Australia, it’s about 30 billion a year. It’s amazing,

Robert Brus 22:22
amazing, staggering numbers.

Daniel Tolson 22:24
You get two types of stress, you get a negative stress and you get a positive stress. And you get a positive stress when you have success problems. I’ve got too many leads, right? I’m getting too many sales in which people have a problem with it. And

Robert Brus 22:37
problem this morning when I came here for leads. Yeah, I looked at my LinkedIn this morning, no 64 people that were interested in the product that on on selling and I was just packing the cameras to come here to your place. And you know what I was, it was really good to get in the car and just to put a podcast on and look at my google map on the way here because I had kind of stopped me from thinking about that and I’m like, I needed to reach out I felt like my energy levels had had lowered because I was feeling massive toss saturation, massive overwhelm. And now I need to get back to those people and to make that happen. But you know what it’s good to recognise on feeling like that rather than, because when I, if I go back to that today, my final video I’m really good at Heebie Jeebies about getting back to everybody. But taking a little break here with you outside, it’s beautiful. I’ve been kind of like, I had said to myself, so I’ll get to it tomorrow. You know, nothing bad’s going to happen, you got to be able to

Daniel Tolson 23:32
manage that stress.

Robert Brus 23:34
But that’s a day of productivity that’s lost. And that’s what goes to contribute to that 300 billion in America and 30 billion here in Australia is if I if I was in the office that I was showing that, you know, you’re poor, you know, three or $4,000 worth of sales out of it. And if I that’s productivity last

year, and I mean, that’s not bad in my business, because it’s my business, it doesn’t really matter so much, but in somebody else’s company, if you’re a salesperson working in that company, that’s really impact Today Baltimore,

Daniel Tolson 24:01
it’s huge. You’ve got to know when to go hard then you have to know when to stop in your brain is like a battery. The energy depletes and then we talk about a Sabbath. So what I say to my business people is 6pm Saturday afternoon, sign off your phone turn off your devices are off in enjoy 36 hours sabbatical Are you living in bed

I got a pen or a bit of work till 6am Monday morning, but the biggest payoff is that your productivity will go up 400%

Robert Brus 24:33
So, so true. So true. You know, I had the discipline to have time off this Sunday just gone today we’re filming it’s Wednesday and the Sunday just gone I I looked at all the things that were going on and I thought you know what, I haven’t had a full day off for ages where I just didn’t do anything related to my business or for this podcast or YouTube or anything like that. And I didn’t feel burnt out or anything like that. I went and trained in the gym the more had an awesome, awesome workout and summer Coming here in Sydney, I was down the beach I had to swim, all sorts of maize and a cup of coffee. And I came back and it’s like quarter to seven in the morning. And the day thing so damn long when I’m not working and then now I’ve got to fill my day up with Okay, we’ll sit down and I’ll have some, you know, maybe something else to eat another cup of coffee or read a book for a while and by the time 10 o’clock Rock Around, I felt really, really recharged. And now I’ve got another lot 12 hours of my day to go really we went and watched a movie hanging out with my daughter a little bit I spoke to my boys on the phone, it was like and Monday looked around and I was like, I feel like I’ve been on three weeks. I just crammed a lot into that day and because I don’t typically take a full day off like that. It was my batteries were really recharge and you’re quite right about the productivity because on Monday was like

Daniel Tolson 25:49
seven self goes up through the roof. Yeah, absolutely. This is managing your stress and the most successful salespeople they know when to stop. They know when they need to call it timeout. Yeah, it’s okay to call a timeout. Just don’t tap out. Yes. And that’s what most people do they tap out too early, they’re gonna let me so you’re gonna be able to do that. So that’s stress. The second part here is his self awareness helps him stay in touch with his emotions, his goals, his motivations, his strength in these key aspirations. And through all the studies of successful people, what I’ve learned is that they fail more times and they succeed. But it’s through that failure that they get new strategies, they figure out what doesn’t work, and it’s a process of elimination. And they say, well, that’s where I’m going. That’s my major, definite purpose. That’s my single defining focus. I won’t stop till I’m the best. Yeah. And what happens is, they remind themselves of this every day. That’s so different to the other guy. He doesn’t know where he’s going. He doesn’t know his strengths. He doesn’t know his weaknesses. So he gets pushed around, the tide goes out, the tide comes in, and he goes in all these different directions, the wind blows and he topples over, where this guy’s like the oak tree. He’s roots deep in the soil, then the storm can come. But there he stands tall and strong, because he knows who he is. So this is a good opportunity for you just to think about how aware Are you of your major definite purpose? What is that single defining focus? Where is it that you’re going, and if you’re not quite sure, and you cannot articulate it to a 10 year old, you’ve got to review it. And this is part of self awareness. And this is where he’s strong. This is why he earns 600,000 a year. And you

Robert Brus 27:30
know, when you see it as well, which is a really interesting thing for me. In the military, you come across a lot of different people and it’s a microcosm of Australian society or any society, whichever military you’re in, because you have people from all walks of life, really highly educated people, people with no education level with great upbringings in terrible upbringings. And it’s all come together in one place, and you’re forced to engage with people in a society that you otherwise wouldn’t engage with. And the really interesting thing when you in an environment like that is When you see somebody that’s got their act together and in, in the military, particularly in the army, you say, Man, that person’s got their stuff squared away. That’s a squared away person. They’re on time, the uniforms, right? their weapons are clean, they just know where to be. They’ve just they just know exactly where they are. And I’ve discovered in the civilian world as a CV, you can spot squared away people really quickly as well. And you can spot people that are kind of like floundering around as you say, they flip flopping from left to right. They just don’t know yeah.

Daniel Tolson 28:31
So I you squared away person. I have you have you got it all together. Have you got it all in one spot for yourself? Or is it all over the place? It’s a good question, right, that is in doing now, the other thing that this top performer does is that he clearly identifies his emotional reactions to life’s events. So a lot of times when people get a no they don’t even realise that they feel and fear rejection, but he he is but now he knows exactly how he feels and then he can respond effectively and This is the difference. And it’s all planned at ease mind when somebody says no, this is the follow up question when they say no to that this is the follow up question. That’s how I’m going to feel. Yeah. And they don’t allow and no to determine their level of competence, right? So they get a note of the product and they can separate product from me.

Robert Brus 29:18
You know, it almost reminds me of a conversation I had with my my daughter about not letting other people make you feel a certain way. If somebody says something mean or nasty to you, or they say something nice to you, how you react to that. It’s completely up to you. So if somebody says no to you, and it’s our circumstance, it’s completely entirely up to you how you’re going to react, that the difference being is that you can anticipate how you’re going to feel about that because it’s controlled environments controlled circumstance,

Daniel Tolson 29:45
delivered professional athlete prepares, yeah. What are they going to say when they get on the podium? For first Plus, the people who lose and you can see this is the grand final, they already know what they going to say when they get up from the podium to accept the difference. But also praise the winners. It says all prepared. And this is self awareness. And if you don’t know how you’re going to respond, then whatever happens on the day happens on the day. Yeah. But successful people earning 600,000, you don’t let that happen by chance. Yeah, that’s all by design. Absolutely, absolutely. So this is why some people are more successful than others even self awareness. Once we have self awareness, we’re going to have a look at self regulation. And self regulation is your ability to manage your thoughts and your feelings. And we have about 90,000 thoughts a day and they just run away. About successful people are very clear on their goals. And that’s what they think about most of the time. So when it comes to self regulation, for the person earning 30,000, he, he really struggles with buying things that are practical verse emotional, and you’re letting his feelings get in the way of his thoughts. You’re letting his feelings get in the way of his actions. Yeah, that’s the first thing that holds you back. The second month. He’s that he handles negative feedback with poise, but he may find it affects his working relationship later on down the line. So what happens here is he gets to know, you get to know you get to know. But with all the research we’ve done on sales success 80% of sales are made after the fifth supports after the fifth 212 contact you. So what happens here we get to know we get to know we get to know and then what happens he doesn’t want to work with you said that like you take my product and service somewhere else or a little bit personal

Robert Brus 31:31
and get to shoot.

Daniel Tolson 31:32
Yeah, and he can regulate those thoughts and those feelings. Yeah, that in sales. You’re gonna get a lot more nose than yeses, but once he gets those nose it really impacts in person one Yeah, definitely. So it’s a big one. The third area he is that sometimes people say they don’t know what to expect from him. We had great conversation in the kitchen before. He’ll show up as five different people five different times and people start to go have a got Jekyll and Hyde today. Have a good jack alohar today, particularly when you’ve got a longer sales cycle, and you have to engage with the client several times, so which one is Who am I getting today? Here? Is

Robert Brus 32:08
it the nice guy? Is it is it the the cranky guy is the guy that jumps down my throat when I’ve got a question

Daniel Tolson 32:12
is what is the enthusiastic confident person? Is that the person who’s really struggling and doubting their products and service and when they can deliver? And can we fulfil the promises? It’s moving from pillar to post consistently for him. So when people buy you what they’re looking at is they’re assessing you and saying how much risk is there in you. And for this guy, he comes across as a big risk, because they like the first time. I don’t like him the second time. I like him the third time, but the fourth time they’ve never met this person. And this is all emotional doesn’t mean you’re bad. It’s just managing emotions. And this is honestly have business people feeling the more successful the people are that you’re selling to the more that they’ll test you, CEOs what they do, it’s a strategy. They will see how many times you follow them up. Because based on the number of times that you follow up, tells them how serious you are about your product and service. Absolutely. And if you do it consistently and I’ve got a god chasing for four years, I know what he’s doing. I just landed the deal after four years, and the guy was testing me to see how long I was going to stick around was

Robert Brus 33:16
very persistent. Eventually. conceptualising

Daniel Tolson 33:18
always coming to me. So I know I can dictate the process. Yeah, exactly three times more, but you know, he doesn’t mind Yeah, thinks it gets results. So this is what holds you back here. The top performer earning 600,000 a year self-regulation it comes in at 73. And the average is 72. But haven’t listened to these subtle differences. He He is good at weighing practical issues versus emotional issues of the situation, which enables him to make decisions, balls managing his emotions. Nobody likes people who are indecisive. Would you like to come out for dinner tonight? I’m really not sure. Like come up for BBQ on the weekend. I’ll have to think about what Love is a decision. Yeah. When people say you know, I’m going to try to get these results for you try and you know what try means try means I’m telling you that I’m going to fail. And when I do fail you can’t yell at me because I told you already I was going to drop it. I was going to try and I was gonna fail. Yeah, people want you to be decisive. And so when they make this top form, they say this a person who makes decisions

Robert Brus 34:26
you know, I like I love the the subject of emotional intelligence and all of these things because what it does is it breaks down two really important things that I think we’ve evolved as human beings. And one is the the really super finely tuned bs metre. And the other one is the famous metre. And I think the famous one is a little bit stronger than the BS one because once upon a time, we all lived in tribes, and together and was it fair that you went out and caught the woolly mammoth constantly and always Becky doing what I was doing Becky, you will famous metre is like, come on, man. You got to come out and help with me a little bit more. I think intuitively we it’s not talked about enough. We have a in an eight famous metre within us and these things can trigger that. Is it fair that I do this with you? Is it fair that that person says they’re going to do that it doesn’t seem fair to me that I fail that you’re only going to deliver that there’s a whole range of things and all of that’s happening in nanoseconds because your evolution is finely tuned to that to to my eyes, your ears, my mouth and all the body language cues that we have going on there. And that fan is made a couple with a BS metre couple with your emotional intelligence to deliver messages what all of this kind of brings together as

Daniel Tolson 35:36
you’re driving down the street in your car. And you got this pedometer and it’s working at the same time as the tech of motor for the ribs. Yeah, and then your fuel gauge and your temperature gauge is changing all the time. You know this is happening when you drop your car. And that famous metre is going from the the green line to the orange to the red in what was the other one the other one was made up as made. So you got an manage this consistently in for this person, he can do this. He’s decisive from him. People who make decisions rise to the top very quick. The thing that this guy does really well is that he’s got a calming effect on other people. So if they’re experiencing stress, you can lower the levels of stress to rot to wood. And like we said before, $300 billion a year, is lost every year in the American economy. 30 billion here in Australia, and he can get people to calm down.

Robert Brus 36:31
It’s really hard to qualify what that would actually mean to you as a person. Well, I think I did that a little bit before by saying, you know, I took a day off and you know, like today I’m taking a day off selling and working like that. But as an individual, it’s hard to understand what that actually the impact of that and what that means

Daniel Tolson 36:46
when when somebody has to decide to buy your product and service. What happens automatically is the law of excluded alternative comes into play and if I put my money he with your account Put it over there. So what we have to do in the selling is we have to lower the risk and you have to be the low risk, no risk option. Yeah. In when he expresses himself when he shows up, he makes decisions. The person says, that’s a safe option. They may be $10,000 more per deal. But I’ll pay $10,000 Boosie going to take the risk away. Yeah. So people hate risk, where the other person they’re like, you know what, he’s 10 grand, cheaper. But I think he’s going to screw it up. I don’t even know if he’s gonna show up tomorrow. I don’t know if I’m gonna sign this contract, and he’s ever gonna come back.

Robert Brus 37:35
risk. Yeah, definitely I use the analogy of being two times better or half as much because there’s no real stretching, doubling something in people’s minds from a mathematical perspective. And if it’s half as much, it seems like a really good deal lower half as much as the other guy, you know, what do you want but as to to on the result you get is two times as good as what you’re currently getting here. And those numbers work really well because it stays within the boundaries. We have remaining really vanilla. And you really not that much better than everybody else, but you’re better enough for that other person to stand up and pay a little bit more attention to because he found 50 times better than the competition straight away my biggest media fan is made it goes like that. And it just triggers a whole it triggers fight or flight in my brain and use and be really careful of that.

Daniel Tolson 38:21
What’s that fight or flight mechanism kicks off? You can’t make a decision. Yeah, that’s right. And this is where you get to be able to withdraw the stress. Yeah. And how do we reduce it? Well, you know, other episodes we talk about anecdotal selling, selling through storeys, risk reduction, etc. Yeah. But it starts with you as the salesperson you have to be a low stress personality.

Robert Brus 38:40
You can be highly strong or pretty highly strong on that high stress girlfriend and

Daniel Tolson 38:43
I didn’t last year but a lot of stress wife and my been together for a decade.

Robert Brus 38:47
There’s a difference between being strong about things and you know, wanting to have your shirt perfectly on and straight lines and squares and everything that you do. But there’s there’s a difference between being high stress and people that’s that that one It’s again, it’s one of those intuitive things that you have as a, as a human brain, I can tell if you’re stressed or not. But I can tell right now that you’re really relaxed in front of the camera, having a conversation with me, there’s no nose. There’s no anything about that, because it’s a topic you love to talk about. And it’s a topic that you really love to engage people on. So your stress levels are really high, your excitement levels are really, your stress levels are low and your excitement levels are much higher.

Daniel Tolson 39:22
I felt like The Wolf of Wall Street talking about this. It’s that it’s that endorphin rush. And when you do something that you love, you don’t need drugs, yes. But when you do something you love you talking about a topic that you’re passionate about. You’re selling to people that you really like and you’re giving them products and services that can really improve the situation. You have that natural hardship. And that’s a great segue into motivation. And in my book, free drugs for entrepreneurs, we say that when you set a goal, you get a dopamine rush. And so in self awareness, if you don’t have a goal, you don’t get dopamine rush. Yeah. So for regulation, if you’re not coming up against obstacles and overcoming those obstacles that you never get the adrenaline hit, that’s not pumping. In a my friend Brian Tracy says, if you’re not going to bed at least four nights a week, feeling that you’re gonna have a heart attack. Excellent. You’re not trying hard,

Robert Brus 40:17
not from stress, but from anticipation. anticipation is a difference. And you’ve got

Daniel Tolson 40:21
to come up against big obstacles if you have the Gulf. And then in motivation, this is when we start to get the serotonin hits. And this is laughs happy drug. So you feeling good all the time? Yeah. And with all of those things, you’ll have a unfair advantage. And let’s break down the $30,000 earner. And you can see why he doesn’t get these free drugs. And you can see why he earns 30 grand, which is 570 grand a year and listen to how they got massive,

Robert Brus 40:45
massive differences.

Daniel Tolson 40:46
So the first thing is he settles for mediocre results when he has the potential for excellence. This guy says you know what? 30 grand, I’m happy I can drop the bomb. I’m good. I’m good. I still get to Why do I need to sit in first class? Yeah, and this is the justification, and it starts to kick in. The other thing is that he tends to give up when faced with challenges or resistance. So as these objections come up, he runs, he can’t handle them. But he runs out what happens is, he doesn’t like the resistance. And this is called a dynamic tension. And what happens on the way it should be you girls, you get what’s called a dynamic tension. Aim, you’re stretching out of your comfort zone. And what happens with an elastic band at once you pull you back, but they get to this stage of stretching that elastic band in the dynamic tension is so much that the elastic band snaps in the off the shelf over here. Yeah. So when he feels that dynamic tension, it just goes right back to the comforter. Yeah. And we see these people are comfortable in Australia, has it a guy might not bad has business could be better. How’s the wife or we ain’t divorce, how the kids react in jail.

Robert Brus 41:55
It’s very cynical, isn’t it? very

Daniel Tolson 41:56
cynical. And so that’s the comfort zone. Everything’s okay. Yeah. So he’s one of those people who everything’s okay, then it’s never good enough. And finally, he’s overly comfortable with the status quo. So even if you dangle the carrot of 600, grand, you know, the inside, unhappy company, I’m good, I’m happy. But what I want to put myself to that stress can take it or leave it. Why would I want to work out? Well, the interesting thing is, both of these people at one 330,000 a year, and the other 600,000, and it’s still 365 days. Yeah, doesn’t have to work any longer. Yeah, same thing is just more emotionally intelligent. So in motivation, big score difference here and this guy comes in at 93. And the first part of the psychology here and motivation is determined by overcome objections. And he wants to outcome obstacles in advance towards these goal. So he thinks through an advanced, what are the obstacles I’m going to get? And he practices he is rebuttals, he practices them and he welcomes What questions do you have, sir, where you got from? Let me ask you So why aren’t you taking action on this today. Any wants to hit the objections so we can have come up because that gives him the adrenaline rush. Yep, absolutely. So he has that. The other thing he can be seen as either inspirational or as a threat, depending on the person’s own level of motivation, should say what happened in business. customers love him because they say this guy’s an inspiration. He’s going to get the most for us in the shortest possible time. Yeah. Everybody else in the office felt threatened. They started to hide because all their problems and self awareness and self regulation start to get exposed. Yeah. And they didn’t like it. But what happened was, because he’s an inspiration, they said, you can love him and hiding but with a loving Yeah, because of the businesses made the business better. And everybody in this business, their results went up 20 and 30% because of one post, grabbing onto his coattails grabbing onto his motivation, seeing what he can do what I can do it too, broke through the glass ceiling here. And then everybody goes first. Let’s go. Let’s go. I don’t wanna get left behind.

Robert Brus 43:57
Yeah, absolutely. So he does that. What what businesses in what are the ways that real stuff inside this

Daniel Tolson 44:03
size in sales since he didn’t say.

But if you rewind it and hear what Rob said, might be too late to take that out. Another thing is that he thinks that new challenges and he’s energised by advancing his goals. He wants a new challenge. He wants different people to work with, he wants you to put him out in front of a difficult customer in once he sees that ability to overcome that and get a step towards these go. He gets that serotonin hit, you know any guys had not and this is what makes some people more successful than others. And this is 100% in your control. He was not born with this. He has developed it have coached him so he can perform at higher levels. And what happens is, as your emotional intelligence rises, your sales increase, as we mentioned before one point improvement in your emotional intelligence equals an improvement in your salary by 1700 and $50. That’s the average very significant, but look at the difference here. Yeah. 30,020 point difference 30 600,000 the gap 570,000 normals

Robert Brus 45:09
divided by 20 points for $10,000 or a point more?

Daniel Tolson 45:13
Absolutely. Would you like to increase your emotional intelligence by 20 points to $570,000 more than that person who sits next to you every day? pretty damn good?

Robert Brus 45:23
Absolutely. Absolutely. I would. I had I had a really interesting experience earlier in the week on on Monday. In fact, I went down to the litter box and I pulled all the mail out of the letterbox knows there’s a pile of bills, and there was must have been five grants with the bills it and what was it doing really well. So $5,000 is not really a big deal to pay those bills. Although $5,000 is still $5,000 It doesn’t matter how much money you do. You don’t have it’s still five grand. It’s a chunk of change. And I remember going to bed on on Monday evening before before I before I put my headphones in and I did my hypnosis before I went to sleep, my subconscious stuff that I do, and I was just Sort of like, and our Ricky dawn, so I had a feeling for I’m just gonna hold on to that I’m gonna fix that in the morning. And they might notice I went to sleep and everything’s okay. I woke up in the morning on Tuesday, and I looked at that pile of bills. And I went, and I found myself going, Oh, this is an opportunity to try something new that I that I wanted to develop and try for myself, because I heard about this. And I wanted to create a new connection in my brain about how I could feel like that recognise it and then pivot into something else. And over here on the $30,000 saw, you talked about potential, and the goal in mindset. And the goal in philosophy is about potential. It’s about bringing your potential into the now. And what I did is I looked at that pile of bills, and I thought that that kind of sucks to pay those bills. And then I had a call at about 10 o’clock in the morning from my salesperson, and she said to me that she’d made three sales that day. And I thought, well, we’re on track for you know, the better part of 40 k this month, and I thought, What’s, what’s five grand go to do? 40 k, what 40 k go to do with my potential. And all of a sudden that that little bit of element of, I guess its fee is what I was feeling. I took that I held onto it properly. And then I pivoted or physically pivoted to the phone and I picked up the phone. And she said that to me, we’re on track for a really, really good month, this is a good month, this is going to really work for us. And all of a sudden was just like, it was so insignificant there. So I took the feeling of trepidation or took the feeling of fee. I acknowledge that I pivoted or thought about my potential, and the future was way, way more bright than what was sitting right there. That actually didn’t matter, actually, that that’s actually in the past, because the things that I’ve paid for already, which is a different thing for what’s coming. And so that was a really interesting experience.

Daniel Tolson 47:44
Looking at this as emotional intelligence, you notice the feeling. So the first thing is self awareness. And then you had the self regulation to say, what’s my strategy? My strategy right now is to do self hypnosis. I’ll put it there. I’ll deal with it later on. And a lot of psychologists You to pack these emotions, that it was part of the strategies to put it there. So you can focus at hand and that’s motivation. It takes a lot of motivation to do that.

Robert Brus 48:09
Yeah, I was proud of myself that I was able to do that, compartmentalise that like guys do with your emotions and things like that. But I, I didn’t compartmentalising thought I’m not going to deal with that. I put it over there. And I said to myself, I will do that tomorrow morning.

Daniel Tolson 48:21
Yep. And with the subconscious mind, it says, okay, tomorrow morning, it brings it back up the resolution, it says, Rob,

Robert Brus 48:26
knock, knock. You’re gonna fix it, fix it. And then I looked at it, acknowledged it and pivoted and went to the

Daniel Tolson 48:33
clinical editor. So this is emotional intelligence. And perhaps you want to learn more about emotional intelligence yourself. Maybe you want to leave a comment, or something that you’ve learned so far. So type that in the box below, and we’ll respond to you personally because just one idea and emotional intelligence is enough to help you double or even triple your sales this year.

Robert Brus 48:50
Yeah, absolutely. If you like what you’re seeing here as well make sure you hit that subscribe button, ring the bell and give us a thumbs up and make sure you do comment down the plays and share the video around Oh no, we’ve got A whole lot of more stuff coming up. We We nearly done here we still go with

Daniel Tolson 49:04
Eric and this could get for a whole new episode. Why don’t we intelligence why

Robert Brus 49:08
don’t why don’t you go over there and find the episode just over there on social intelligence and we will see you ever that