In this episode of Win Sales Now, both Rob and Daniel explore how to sell with emotional intelligence, what that means to use these strategies, and how to improve your sales results using these techniques.

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Podcast Transcript


Robert Brus 0:09
Welcome to the Go All In show and Win Sales Now. Really excited to be continuing our little episodes here on sales psychology, this time around, we’re going to be talking about emotional intelligence, and the value of that it’s a really important topic. So can’t wait to get into that. But if this is your first time here, make sure you hit that subscribe button. So thumbs up and ring the bell. so you don’t miss out on any content that’s coming out with a whole body of work that we’ve recorded in the last couple of weeks. And we’re going to be releasing that

Daniel Tolson 0:42
as we record it.

Robert Brus 0:42
So there’s no delay, but we don’t want you to miss out on any of that. So make sure you hit that alert button, and you’ll see him as they come out. Daniel, welcome to the show, man. It’s great to have you here. Good to see you once again. Yeah,

Daniel Tolson 0:53
that this is one of the most important topics that I’ve ever discovered in 30 years of selling and I know To all the latest research coming out from Harvard, that emotional intelligence as a whole, will contribute to 58% of your success, but personally and professionally, that especially in the field of selling, we look at social intelligence, which will contribute to 85% of your sales success. It’s because it’s the ability to read the emotional makeup of your customer, and then be able to communicate to them in a way that they say yes, your product will solve my problem or help me achieve that goal. So Bob Thomas, about emotional intelligence and social intelligence, with what we’re going to share with you right now. It will change how you think and feel about so that’ll also change how you interact with your prospects in your customers, one of the most important parts of selling

Robert Brus 1:48
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Believe it or not, believe it or not, I’ve been an entrepreneur since I left the military A long time ago in 2002. And I’ve I’ve had jobs in between, of course, but I’ve generally had My own business and generally kind of works for myself. But I’ve only recently heard the words emotional intelligence. It’s not something that’s ever been in my vernacular from a sales perspective. It’s only probably in the last three years that I’ve really heard that and understood what it means. And every now and then there’s some vernacular in the English language that really hits home and does says what it is on the tin. Meaning when when sales now this is a show about winning sales right now, tomorrow, tonight, exactly right now, and I love the idea of that. And I love those two words together in the English language, emotional intelligence because it says exactly what it is. But at its core, it can mean many different things from a sales perspective, applying to the actual prospect of the target and to yourself as a salesperson as well. Can you give us a little bit of an expansion on that? Absolutely.

Daniel Tolson 2:55
We’re now calling it emotional intelligence for the past 20 years.

Robert Brus 2:59
But what we’re vibrating for a

Daniel Tolson 3:02
second ago, I missed it. But for the rest of human history, we’ve called it straight smart. Right? And that’s what we’ve referred to it. They’ll say he’s street smart. He can read people he can communicate, he can persuade and encourage and motivate. It’s been called many different terms that now that we call it emotional intelligence, we can put it in a box, right? We can live look, we can dissect it. And we can break it down into strategies that we can replicate. And in sales from, you know, we’ve got 6000 years of recorded history. And when you go back and you look at the most successful people in the world, you can go back and see where they were emotional intelligence. And we break down emotional intelligence into five key areas in you will get to understand this as as we go through and we will repeat them will loop around many times. The first part of emotional intelligence is self awareness. It’s the ability to understand why you think and feel the way that you do. It’s about understanding your strengths and your weaknesses. It’s about looking at yourself objectively and saying, I’m doing great over here. But I do need a little bit of attention over here in my sales guy. And remember that there’s seven key result areas in the selling. And you have to have a level of self awareness where you know exactly where you’re strong in the way you work. And we have to challenge those thoughts. Because you’ve grown up you’ve been told by your parents, you’ve been told by your teachers, focus on your strengths and just forget about those weaknesses. But I know from driving motor vehicles that if my car has four wheels, and one of those wheels those tires go flat, my vehicle doesn’t perform. It doesn’t matter how optimistic I am doesn’t matter how positive on that vehicle one perform at its best. So self awareness is understanding this is where I have a shortfall and in selling We have to make sure we take those weaknesses in turn them into strengths. So when I started selling, one of my biggest blockages was having a fear of rejection. But I knew I had a fear of rejection that I didn’t have a strategy on how to overcome it. But the first most important thing was was I identified a limitation in society right now, especially for salespeople, about 36% of sales, people can identify the thoughts and the feelings that are taking place at any given moment. Such a small percentage is not a lot of people, is it? Such a small percentage in those percentage of people who can do it are in the top 10% of sales, but those are the people who rise to the top. But the people who struggle with their thoughts and their doubts and their limiting beliefs, and they don’t really know what’s holding them back. You can’t fix something that you don’t know the problem. So you’ve got to identify this. And if you’ve probably had this in your career, you’re going Hey, I’m I’m strong over here, and I’m succeeding, but what’s holding me back. And if you don’t know what’s holding you back, you can acquire new knowledge. If you don’t know what’s holding you back, you can acquire new skills. And if you’re not sure of what’s holding you back, it impacts your level of motivation. So we’re going to be able to understand what it is.

Robert Brus 6:21
I know for me personally, early on in my sales career, the thing that was holding me back, and it was less about holding me back but more of a mistake, actually. And you know, there’s a difference between an error and a mistake. The error happens when you’re unaware of making the error and a mistake happens when you know better but you do it anyway. And it happens anyway, that keeps happening. And the mistake that I made early on, but I corrected and identified but I did it for quite a while when I first started in my business is all wasn’t talking to the decision makeup.

Daniel Tolson 6:52
That’s a problem.

Robert Brus 6:53
So that’s a problem. So I have these great products, these great services and I’ve got this really great pitch and everything. I’ve got lots of lots of leads. Lots of people to pitch to. I had heaps of people to pitch to because I was just asking the wrong people for the sale. And when I identify like, why, why am I getting any traction here? Why isn’t this working? What’s wrong? What’s wrong with me? actually nothing wrong with you, as the person on the other side, that is never going to buy from you because they’re not the right person to be talking to. So then what I went away and I had to go and do some homework and research on how to Why ask the question, without upsetting people on you know, are you the person that’s going to make the decision are all the decision makers here in the room and sometimes you would turn up to a meeting, in my experience, turned up to a meeting and I was supposed to be with with john and Jenny, and only john would turn up and Jenny wasn’t there and Jenny’s keep 50% of that, and I just wouldn’t do it appointment like that. And often, I would pitch to a board, selling digital products selling networking products and all sorts of different things. And not everybody would be there. And those folks getting the message second hand Just never played well for me either. So I was able to identify what the shortcoming was there or the mistake, really.

Daniel Tolson 8:07
So what happens with emotional intelligence also is that your thoughts influence 95% of your feelings. And we have about 90,000 thoughts going through my head every day, I didn’t stand there and count them. This is what psychologists tell us. There’s about 90,000 thoughts going through your head today, most of which you’re just totally unconscious. And as that stream of consciousness runs through, it influences your feelings. And what we’ve learned through psychology is that before the age of it, you’ve been told, I’ve been told they have been told 148,000 times, No, that won’t work. No, you can’t have this. No, you can’t do that. So we end up becoming very hyper sensitive to it. And if you’re self aware, and you realise that this already exists in you, you can start to control those thoughts and you can start to control those feelings. The instilling what we feel is hearing the word know. So we then seek to avoid it and what do we do? Yeah, and I’m going to make some calls. Let’s just have a quick coffee. Lunch and people call it procrastination nice. I’m procrastinating know, your avoid a test you’re avoiding a perceived know. Because the know equals pain. You don’t want to experience pain.

Robert Brus 9:25
But it’s funny that no hasn’t even occurred yet.

Daniel Tolson 9:27
Hasn’t good, but

Robert Brus 9:28
it occurred in your mind that happened already many times 100,000 times in fact,

Daniel Tolson 9:32
and so what happens is every time here and now it it stacks on top of the other, you go from 148,000 850,000 you like another one’s going to break me? Yeah, but we’re going to be aware of that. And one of the most important things in selling is that you have to accept that you’re going to hear no as part of the process. And every professional salesperson will tell you that if you double your rate of failure, if you double the amount of knows that you hear ultimately, you will make What’s up? So you have to systematically desensitise yourself to know and then what will happen is you’ll enjoy them. And you’ll really look forward to those yeses. So that’s self awareness, we have to understand really our personal psychology and what comes along in the field and how it impacts us. That’s really

Robert Brus 10:19
interesting. I’ve never really been worried about or note in selling it. For me, it’s like, I’ve never really had a fear of rejection. What what I’ve worried about if I had anxiety about is, can I really help this person? Can my products and services really solve their problem? And that’s a problem. Because if I’m going to an appointment to a meeting like that, to try and sell a product or service, it means I haven’t done enough preparation or asked enough questions before I got there. I haven’t set myself up for success to do those things. And if you’re listening to this, the whole idea of this show, and the whole idea of what Daniel and I are doing, I’d give you some practical tips from the lessons that we’ve learned and the debriefing lessons that were given to you here as well. But we want you to Take these tips away with you today and implement them today. So don’t just watch this video. And so that’s good boys well done. That’s excellent. Make sure you execute and implement these things into your daily life.

Daniel Tolson 11:11
Well, action is everything that is and all you gotta do is you got to take one idea from the show and implement it, and you will get an immediate result. Absolutely. You’ll get an immediate result. I had a client the other day in Sydney, she was not aware of her pitch. I said, What’s your pitch? She said, I don’t know.

Robert Brus 11:29
But that’s a problem. If you got something to sell, and they don’t know you’re pitching it.

Daniel Tolson 11:31
So we said, Well, what do you do and how does it improve the last few customers, and I say both sides to the customer. I show people how to do this and this is the benefit the result and the improvement. As soon as she said that she doubled her appointment ratio and manually doubled her sales appointments every single day. Really simple. Thanks, Nancy. So the second part of emotional intelligence is self regulation. And this is the ability to control your mental and emotional impulses. And what happens is with that stream of consciousness that influences our feelings, and people who are procrastinating actually it doing what’s called a lack of action. They’re not taking action. They’re procrastinating, but it’s a lack of action. And it’s because they can’t regulate that feeling. So that emotion that fear of rejection comes up. And then what happens is they wallow in that mood, and a lot of sales people have been in that feeling of rejection. And we mentioned in a previous episode that one of my clients, he got rejected when he was seven. And at age 50, he was still stuck in that mood. And every time it came around to looking for new customers, he said, I don’t like this feeling. And they’d go into all the avoidance behaviours. So the world’s most successful salespeople have this ability to control their thoughts. And controlling your thoughts is as simple as having affirmations. That simple it’s that simple because the way the mind works is the mind can only hold one thought at a time, either positive or negative. And if you don’t choose your thoughts consciously, what happens is we get back to the default negative. And there’s a whole field of psychology around this is that the one thing that you and I and Rob and every other living organism on this planet has, is the will to survive. But we don’t know why we’re surviving. If there’s no goal. Yeah, we don’t know why we’re trying to survive. So what happens here is we want to survive in a know is a perceived death. Yeah. So we seek to avoid these things to preserve yourself. So when we change the way we think we change the way that we act, and the world’s most successful sales people tell themselves on a daily basis. I love my work. I love my product. I love my work. I love my product. And what happens is, as you’re thinking that you love your work and you love your product, all of those negative thoughts get pushed out of the mind immediately. So if you’ve got a great affirmation, and you constantly say this over and over and again, you programme your mind become more successful, you focus on the positive. And remember, your thoughts influence 95% of your feelings. So if you got negative thoughts, you get negative feelings. And you’ll have low sales results. But if you have the right thoughts going through your mind, like I love my work, I love my product. All of a sudden, you feel courageous, you feel unstoppable, and you want to go out and call on people. Yeah, because as we said before, sales is a transfer of enthusiasm. And if you’re getting great results, with your product or service in your life, it’s natural for you to go out and brag about how you have done this course. I’m using this product in my own life and look what’s happened. And so you’re going to learn to regulate your thoughts and you got to learn to regulate your feelings.

Robert Brus 14:50
And it’s hard this it’s the start that stops most people is what I say but one thing that I do know is once you once you get a bit of motivation behind you and you develop a habit and you develop a little bit of a discipline it becomes an automatic thing. And for me for me personally I I’ll draw draw the fitness and health analogy for you. I don’t I don’t really subscribe to the Miracle Morning or getting out of bed and meditating like the monk on a mountain. I just don’t do that my version of that when I get out of bed he’s like oh my god Monday, but they still feel welcome. 159 years old, right? Especially when it’s cold in wintertime, not so much. Now the weather is warming up, but I get up and I put my gym clothes on and no matter what, I just go and do the activity. As much as it sucks to get out of bed. If I finish sleeping. And I’m tossing and turning at 530 in the morning I just get up and I get out of bed, put my clothes on are getting the car and go to the gym or walk outside and I go and train. And you know what inevitably when I’m walking up the stairs of the gym, I’m still thinking the same thing. unlock a lock on dragon my sorry ass and there to do it. But the minute that I step on that treadmill to to do a little warm up and, and pretend like gone, I’ve got all these fitness goals ready to go. But really, I just need to actually get moving for the day, press the button, the thing starts moving. Actually, you know what it feels pretty good. Feels pretty good. And I know for myself personally in sales and in business, it is the same thing. It’s like, really, I’ve got to do that. I’ve got to go prospecting. Again, I’ve got to. And I feel like at every point, I just complain about everything. But because I’ve been doing it for such a long time I do it anyway. And it’s not so bad. Once I get going. It’s actually pretty good. And it’s actually pretty fun once I get started. But it’s the start. That’s sometimes stops me and I think it’s the start that stops most people from getting momentum. But once you get going and get a bit of momentum, you’re right.

Daniel Tolson 16:50
What Rob’s talking about is what’s called the momentum principle. And it takes about 95% of your mental energy. Just to begin, a rally takes 5% of your energy to continue so

Robert Brus 17:02
true. And once you started your mind, I’m okay I’m running on the treadmill at like 19 kilometres an hour sprinting for two minutes on two minutes off two minutes on two minutes off, and I’m sprinting at 530 in the morning, and just like 10 minutes ago, I was complaining that I had a sore back and a sore neck. That’s all forgot

Daniel Tolson 17:18
off got its momentum. And one of the best ways that you can get momentum is to control those thoughts. And that is self regulation. Yeah, you’ll be able to regulate that. The first thing that I do in the morning is begin my day with affirmations. And the alarm goes off at five o’clock. It’s cold and windy here in Australia. Yeah, boiling hot and Somalia. And I just want a little bit more sleep. But I’ve trained myself to do affirmations in for the first nine minutes, not 10 minutes because that’s how the iPhone works yet nine minutes is news. For nine minutes. I set my intention of the day and I start to put positive expectations in my mind. It was fully 85% of our success comes from the expectations of the things We want to achieve in the future, right? So what I do, I hit the snooze button. So I’ve got nine minutes to do my affirmations. And I said to myself, I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today. And because of the expectations principle, I’m just programming myself and I start to believe that I’m going to achieve something wonderful. something wonderful is going to happen to me. And by the ninth minute, I’m ready to

Robert Brus 18:25
launch ready to go for the day I

Daniel Tolson 18:27
want to spend my mental game is in the right place, then I get my physical game in the right place, right pull on the shorts, I forget what the socks and even if it’s two degrees out there in the morning, I’ll still do my workout. But it’s just that momentum principle. And the same with your sales business II. You just need to get a little bit of momentum and you know that once you’re on a roll, you’ll be okay. But remember 95% of your mental energy will be required just to stop and that’s where you’re gonna be able to regulate your emotions. You gotta say, Well, this is a fact. happens to everybody else. I’m just gonna keep pushing. Yeah. And then once I get the ball rolling, you’ve heard that you’ll be fine.

Robert Brus 19:06
And so I love I love how it’s all forgotten. So soon,

Daniel Tolson 19:10
like you can go from It can’t be that easy.

Robert Brus 19:12
Yeah, that’s right. I go I go from God to man, I feel like I feel so good after that workout. But if if you could actually videotape me and see the compliance, and you could videotape my mind and all the cursing and cussing and complaining about it, maybe I need to go and hit the snooze button for 10 minutes and do some positive stuff before I get out in the blind.

Daniel Tolson 19:32
let’s describe probably help. And that’s what the most successful people do. I was watching a Tony Robbins interview the other day with Oprah Winfrey. And he said the same thing. He prides himself for the first 10 to 15 minutes of the day, and then he gets going and instilling its grandfather or die every single day. That is every time you present. It’s the grand final. And what I love about sales, is there’s only winners. Absolutely, yeah. I’ll go to Winner, because if you don’t win, you lose. If you win, you get paid. If you lose, you don’t get paid in your staff. So what you’ve got to remember that every day for you is grand final day, and you gotta kick the goal every day, you’ve got to be the winner every day. And so very important to get that momentum going on that Wilson will say that. So fertiliser, what follows self regulation is motivation. And this is a very different type of motivation. Everybody’s ambitious, well, you wouldn’t get this out. But not everybody is motivated. And what happens is, in selling, you get a lot of no’s. But you still have to keep moving forward. And there’s an old Japanese proverb that says fall down eight times, get back up nine times. And if you have the motivation to accept failure first, to get success later, you’ll be willing to fall down and you’ll be willing to get back up. So this is part of success and with motivation, you have to say I want this thing I’m willing to bleed. For this thing, I’m ready to crawl, I’ve a broken glass to get that thing. And if your level of motivation is high enough, then you can overcome any obstacle. It’s like that bit of stoicism, that the obstacle is the way and except that the bigger your goals, the bigger obstacle course you’re going to be, the more money that you want, the longer it’s going to take to get there, you can have quick wins, you can make 1000 to 2000 bucks there. But if you want to start to capture these big whales and have gigs of 100 and 150,000 or $200,000, that they take a little bit more time. They take a little bit more of it. So you’d be willing to fall over a few times to get that big win.

Robert Brus 21:43
There’s a small dichotomy in all of that as well. I know for myself personally, I’ve I’ve won some pretty big deals in the scheme of the businesses that I’ve had over the years. And one of the things that I’ve tended to do, which is I think maybe this emotional intelligence things is not such a good idea is When you put all your eggs into that basket, and if business is not so good or it’s not tracking along as well as it could, I found for me personally, what’s happened from time to time is God, I’ve got witness Do I need to win this deal? I’ve got to have this deal, but I don’t have this deal. I got agent Oh my god, like everybody in business I’ve have been there. And the reality is that’s coming from a little bit of a scarcity mindset that the reality is you don’t win every single deal. You just, you just don’t you don’t win every deal. You put your best foot forward, but you don’t know what is going to come up with the win. And if you don’t come up with a win, you better have a good enough prospecting system that’s going to enable you to go and find some more sales pretty quickly and not cause you so much heartache or grief.

Daniel Tolson 22:46
What happens with motivation is motivation also determines our comfort zones, which we spoke about on the previous episode, we’re talking about comfort zones, and most people say you know what, I’m making good money. mice, my products pretty good. My sales results are pretty good. But good is not great. So moving from good to great takes a lot of energy. Yeah. And it takes a lot of effort, and you need a higher levels of motivation. And Brian Tracy said to me before we said, Daniel, sometimes the only strategy that wins business is your ability to stand up longer than anybody else yet Outlast them. If you stand up longer and you refuse to quit, ultimately, you must succeed. And sometimes that’s the only strategy and in business, we’ve seen this all around the world. Some people just stand up for 30 and 40 years in business, and their 40th year in business is the most successful Yeah, there’s everybody else quickly drops off. Brian Tracy, recently on a telephone call, he said, Daniel, this year was my highest income earning year in my life, just recently it anyway, and he’s in his mid 70s. Yeah. And so he just refuses to quit. And that’s motivation. It’s that refusing to quit. It’s The willingness to move outside of your comfort zone into your zone of discomfort, and to do those things that are important and necessary, unless brand You must have heard of Les Brown, he says, if you do what is easy, life will be hard. But if you do what is hard, life will be easy. So this is motivation. Most people won’t do what is hard, they’ll do what’s fun, and easy. And they’ll struggle for the rest of their lives. So, motivation, emotional intelligence, if you’re struggling to keep pursuing up against big competitors, with people of reducing the process, if you don’t have that motivation to move forward, you can’t succeed. So you have to have higher levels of motivation. You have to have a higher willingness. You have to set bigger goals. You have to set higher standards on your life. And you gotta go bowling, if you’re not all in

Robert Brus 25:06
One really interesting part about motivation for me is People ask me all the time it’s a bit of a I suppose it’s a natural question that people have, but are you are in the military Rob, he must be a really motivated character motivated God. And I guess in some ways that is that is true. But what you’ve what most people fail to remember or recognise, is that the motivation comes from a place with a really big stick. And in any government job, whether it’s the military or any other government job, there’s consequences to not doing your job, and particularly in the infantry. And I’m not talking about on the battlefield, I’m talking about just in day to day work life and activity, you must be at work at this time and you only go home at that time. You must wear that uniform and shine your shoes like that and do all of those sorts of things. And that’s got to do With military discipline, and people say you must be so disciplined because you were in the military. Actually, some of the most undisciplined people that I’ve ever met or known, have been in the military, which is really interesting. It’s the system that makes you discipline and kind of forces you to be disciplined. And the way that they get in the way that I get everybody to move quickly together in the same direction is by having a common goal and understanding why we are doing what we are doing. Why the hell are we loading up all this equipment, putting a parachute on and jumping out of a plane? Well, we don’t just go and do that for fun. There’s a reason there’s an objective to doing that. And what I found with motivation and discipline, those the combination of those two things, if you can have the why, and the watch as as book ending those two things, it becomes a lot easier to motivate yourself and it keeps you the discipline that you have keeps you on Track because you know where you going, why you going there and how you’re going to get there. It’s kind of it’s all of those combination of those things coming to

Daniel Tolson 27:08
write this down, what gets measured, gets done, doesn’t know by and I was working with some ex military people in the United Kingdom. And these gentlemen were incredibly disciplined in the military. But when it came to running business, all the discipline went out the window. I would sleep in my very common, right, that drink too much the night before they wouldn’t shine their boots. Yeah. And a lot of them reached out to me and they said, Daniel, can you help us build a business? And so why do you need me? You got yourself? Yeah, not like, I got no discipline. And once I got down to the bottom of it, it wasn’t that they didn’t have discipline. If they didn’t have a sergeant major, somebody to report back to somebody who was going to hit them with the whip their the structure wasn’t there. Absolutely. And in a lot of businesses and in the south room, your Sergeant Major, the person that you’re going to answer to is your key result areas. Yeah, absolutely. You’ve got to manage your South Korean by objectives. What’s the objective? It’s to make 20 cold before lunch talk. Once I get on the call, what’s the objective to bring 30% of those into an appointment? After I get 30% of those with the appointment, it’s to convert one person, and that becomes your Sergeant Major. And if you don’t achieve that, you shouldn’t feel a sense of pain. Like you’re saying, yes, the facility. And so you gotta hold yourself accountable. And all discipline is self discipline. So a lot of people say, you know, my, my boss should be doing this for my boss shouldn’t make me mad, mad know, your boss, his job is to remove all the D motivators out of the environment. So motivation is possible. It’s getting the wrong people off the team. It’s getting rid of those products and services that account for only 20% yourselves. So your job is to make sure that you hit your targets every day, and when you hit the target and we spoke with This In the previous episode, once you hit your target, your, your brain releases serotonin. It’s nature’s happy drug, you feel good, you feel good. And you want to chase again, you want to chase you want to chase when you get the nice, Tyler cool with it. Like, let’s go again,

Robert Brus 29:14
you know one really great technique and strategy that you can use to increase your levels of motivation. And it’s kind of like, Well, how do I increase my levels of motivation. And for me, we talked about this on another episode and it’s about time management. And if you you divvy up your day to 30 minute blocks, locker on on Daniels iPad here and each one of those lines is a 30 minute block. All of a sudden, all of a sudden, you will feel a sense of urgency about the activity and the action that you’re taking. And you will have to work really, really quickly in order to achieve that to do in that short space of time. If you want to be really refined about it, block it down into 15 minute blocks, particularly when you’re talking about prospecting, following up getting that done. So really practical, simple step. And there’s nothing to overcomplicate here. But if you do that, look at your calendar, and you set your calendar to send you an alert every time the next thing is about to come up. My Google Calendar alerts me 10 minutes before, that’s the default when you put that into the calendar, and I divvy up my day into 15 minute or 30 minute blocks, that sends me an alert unlike only got 10 minutes to go. And I find that time when I when I compress time like that all of my procrastination goes away, because suddenly I feel so unbelievably busy, and I haven’t got enough time to get all of these things done. So I’ve been a hurry up and get on with him. And it really, it’s kind of an enforced way of motivating yourself, because you’re against the clock the whole time and it’s a bit of a race, you’re racing against yourself. And you can only sustain that for so long. So be careful of not burning yourself out when you’re doing that. But it’s a really good way to get yourself going. Again, if you found yourself in a bit of a lull.

Daniel Tolson 30:56
We can put a name to that and it’s called the law of force. efficiency. And what happens is if you allow yourself two hours to make prospecting calls, your time will stretch out. And you will do that job within two hours.

Robert Brus 31:10
I’ll do one in the first day off, and one in the second. Exactly.

Daniel Tolson 31:12
That’s what will happen. So what you do you apply the lower forced efficiency, and you say, I’m going to do this in 20 minutes. And what happens is time contracts, and you force yourself it’s a forcing system to do. And would you like to be a billionaire? Of course you would. Yeah. Well, if you want to become a billionaire, or you have to do is the same thing that billionaires do. And if you do what successful people do you get the same results. So you mentioned about managing your time, and this comes down to motivation. And we spoke about this before we went to lunch, is that Ilan Musk, he blocks his day out in five minute chunks every hour is split into five minute chunks. And he manages his time in five minute intervals. And that’s a forcing system and that’s a strategy of ability. So if you have aspirations to be building a, if you just start to schedule your time in five minute blocks, you will end up becoming like the billionaires. And that’s just about managing your time. And that is motivation. You’ve got to have motivation to manage time if you don’t you want

Robert Brus 32:15
Yeah, absolutely. Ladies and gentlemen, make no mistake, there’s nothing complicated he, these are practical things that you can do that you probably already know. And it’s just a couple of guys on the other side of the camera reminding you that it can be done and it really does make a difference. It really, really will help you. So if you like what you’re seeing here so far, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button down there. Give us a thumbs up if you like it as well. And when should we ring the bell say getting the word next time the next episode comes out and go ahead and put some comments down below as well. But then you will not see those and will reply to those. So don’t be shy in living to comment or asking us a question down there as well. So we covered off a couple of things in emotional intelligence. We’ve covered recap

Daniel Tolson 32:57
self awareness, and this is understanding who you are, why you think and feel the way that you do your strengths and your weaknesses. The second part is self regulation. This is the ability to control those disruptive thought processes, that little voice that says you can do it, you’re too young, you don’t have enough experience. It’s the ability to cancel that out and focus on what you want. Remember, 70% of the thoughts that you think every day a counter productive.

Robert Brus 33:24
That’s a lot of negative thinking.

Daniel Tolson 33:26
It’s a lot of negative thinking. And it’s because it’s about survival. And it’s about coming back to the comfort zone. And motivation was the third area of emotional intelligence, where this is your motivation. It’s the ability to keep pursuing your goals. It’s the ability to get knocked down and get back up, to get knocked down and to get back up. And you can’t get motivation and a pill. You can’t get it out of the bottle. If you act with courage, you will become courageous in your level of motivational in Christ. But there is one strategy that they can use Rania so Tony Robbins, he’s famous for this. What he says is that you have to Have 100 reasons why you must not succeed. I sorry. Let’s go, you know, again, Tony Robbins says, you know, 100 reasons why you must not fail. And you also need 100 reasons why you must succeed. Because every day we’re going to be challenged and we have to have more reasons to succeed. And we have to have more reasons why we must not fail.

Robert Brus 34:24
And it seems like a lot of reasons to fail. I think I could only write maybe 10

Daniel Tolson 34:29
like, Well, I’m not smart enough. But you are you can bridge that gap by looking at somebody who’s smarter than me to solve the problem that’s technical or something like that is not a very big list of things reasons why we would file but you should not lose your family. When you walk to boot camp, well, they The reason you should lie, parents, your children not to go with it. So remember that motivation is about towards and why from it’s both the carrot and the stick. And if you have too much motivation from the carrot and not enough from the stick your file the world’s most success Will people the highest performance have hate equal amounts of carrot and stick motivation? I do really interesting. Absolutely. So you go to do it in Think about this, you might get challenged 10 times. And if you if you run out of reasons, your motivation stops. And so you’ve always got to fill up that tank of motivation. And you do it with reasons. 100 reasons why you must not fail, and 100 reasons why you must succeed. And if you do that, look at Tony Robbins. It works for him. Yeah, Tony does it I’m gonna do I’m gonna say successful. Yeah. And I want to be successful. Absolutely. That’s motivation.

Robert Brus 35:31
Yeah, I think I’m going to go and have a crack at that and see if I can find 100 reasons why I can’t succeed.

Daniel Tolson 35:37
I think I’m miserable with 100 reasons why you must not fail. It’s the other way around. And I have your reasons why you must succeed. Yeah, I’ve got a client is a real estate agent from my hometown, and he wanted to coach with me and I said, before you coach with me, I want to make sure that your levels of motivation are high enough for you to start coaching and continue to advocate for your obstacles. And I said, what I want you to do, I want you to write down 50 reasons why you must not fail at this coaching and a 50 reasons why you must succeed. And he said, Jay Daniel, that’s a lot of reasons. And so as a coach, I hear that and I say, if this person thinks 50 reasons not to found 50 reasons to succeed is a lot. He’s going to MTF. He’s going to tap out to like, like Conor McGregor Quickly, quickly. So what I did, I said no, before a country, I want 100 reasons why you must not fail and 100 reasons why you must succeed. He wrote them down. He wrote them down. He wrote them down. He said, coach, can we start with that, and he had 200 reasons entitled, they got it. In 90 days, he increased his sales income by 46%. Well, within six months, he went from working by himself to today, employing 14 people with the most successful office in his area. Well, he has hundreds and hundreds of properties on the rental role. And so he’s come across bigger hurdles, and he’s got the motif and the modified Yeah, well, so I encourage you to write down 100 reasons why you must not fail in sales and 100 reasons why you must succeed in sales and with those you become unstoppable.

Robert Brus 37:12
Beautiful, beautifully said beautifully said. I want to leave you with a little anecdote from from my side. And it’s a it’s a bit funny. It’s kind of you probably shake your head thinking What were you thinking when I when I tell you this little storey? So, and I haven’t I have deliberately not told Daniel this storey because I was saving it. So we’re on camera so we can do it and have the live dynamic for you to say, Well, what are you thinking? Crazy. So in a recent business, in a recent startup business, I had this crazy harebrained idea that I went ahead and executed on and it’s as if you would have felt this before in your life. It’s as if every moment of your life has been leading to this moment where this is your time, your opportunity. The market is right the conditions are right. Everything is right everything’s working, and so excited about it. And I’m the Golan guy. So I’m going to go all in on this and it’s all working for me. And it’s all happening for me, right? And all of a sudden, I start to see a little bit of success. It shows up. And you probably know where this is going right? Because you know me a little bit now and you know where it’s going. So success shows up and the sales are happening like rapid fire, rapid fire, the sales are happening to me, and what I’m, what I’m thinking is, it can’t be that easy. And our member, that’s exactly what I thought. Surely it can’t be that easy. But if I in hindsight now I look over my shoulder and I can see where I was coming from and what was actually happening. And what happened to me is I did all of this groundwork and I set myself up in this business and I did I laid the foundations for everything. And every all my ducks in a row the websites perfect my marketing is perfect my messages but everything’s exactly as you want it to be. And it worked. And I was like, well It can’t be that easy. And and I was always acutely aware I was in this very room where we’re standing here looking out the window the ocean just dumbfounded like, What? What’s happening? and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars are coming at me thinking Fossella this and I was like, What’s

Unknown Speaker 39:23
going on

Robert Brus 39:24
here? And I swear to you, I nearly I nearly sabotaged it. I was so damn close to sabotaging it. And there was a couple of times that I said to customers who said, Yeah, I’m good. You got it. Let’s let’s get it done. And that’s $1,000 sale on the phone the first time I’ve spoken to them. And I’d had back and forth in email and LinkedIn a couple of times, but the first time on the phone or spoke to him, thousand dollar sale, thousand dollars. And there’s a couple of times I’ll say, Are you sure you want to do that? And I’ll stop myself. I’m like, What do you mean? What are you asking that question for what’s the matter with you? You. And I’m just wondering from an emotional intelligence perspective, when you hear that storey, what do you hear happening? And all it was, for me personally, when I look back at it, and if I debrief myself, and you guys and girls watching that you probably have your own thoughts on it. I feel like I was, I couldn’t, I just couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that. It was finally working after all of that work. And it was a little bit of a bit of shock. And I’m wondering, what do you think?

Daniel Tolson 40:27
You answered the question yourself, just then you said I couldn’t believe it. And this is a self limiting belief

Robert Brus 40:34
that they wanted it for 1000 bucks and the next goal and the next goal, what the hell am I good luck, five or $6,000 in a diet, what really

Daniel Tolson 40:41
is what happened? How did that happen? What happened to you is there was a self limiting belief and as a coach and trained in neuroscience, I’m always listening to the language patterns and the language pattern and we can watch it on replay. You say it can’t be that easy. And that’s the self limiting belief right there.

Robert Brus 40:59
But also wasn’t easy, right? getting to that point wasn’t easy. It was a mission to get to that point, then all the time.

Daniel Tolson 41:05
Yeah, just to make the sale. So we have those little softening blips, and that’s part of the self concept. So we say it can’t be that easy. And then what happens is, you mentioned that it’s like the self sabotage, hey, this must be too easy. Should I be really doing it? And all these limitations that come up in about 80% of what holds us back in life, these self limiting beliefs, these mental blocks, these emotional blocks? So first of all, you had the self awareness to be aware of it. And you’re not one of your one of those people, those 36% who are aware of those thoughts and feelings and the second thing you did was self regulation, your regulated your thoughts and your feelings and your actions when you went? Hold up, timeout, pause. This is sabotage, back to the objective. And then you had the motivation to make Challenge. There’s people out there who will say, you know, I know I had this so many life, and I can’t stop it. And you say, why not? They say, Well, why couldn’t we build it? So that’s low emotional intelligence. But your emotional intelligence is high, because you’ve identified the problem. If you can identify the problem, you can’t solve it. I’m like a doctor, you going, Doc, I’m not feeling well.

Robert Brus 42:22
Well, you could ask a series of questions from me, as well.

Daniel Tolson 42:26
Where do you feel the pain? Do you feel sick? I don’t know. You can’t solve those problems that you do. So we would put that under the category of a self limiting belief, and your self limiting beliefs will do more damage to you than anything else.

Robert Brus 42:42
Luckily, they damaged me on that day. That was a good day, you know, so I think from memory was like, five or six $1,000 sales in that given day, and I’ve done that consecutively in this business sense. And but you know, it’s a it’s a funny thing. It’s not a It’s not in my head. It’s in my saying to you before it’s in my solar plexus where I feel it like in my diaphragm where I’m like,

Unknown Speaker 43:07
can I break this down?

Robert Brus 43:08
Really? That was I really want to buy that from me now what? Really? What is what what am I? Why am I saying it can’t? It can’t be that easy. Why would I say that to myself? But because it’s not easy. It wasn’t easy to build a business. It wasn’t easy to build the concepts and, and to create it. And that feels like a superpower that I’ve brought the thing to life. And it’s happened like that. But then the sale happens. And it’s like, well, what did you expect was going to happen? You idiot, you expect it was going to file? And that’s almost like the self sabotage. So right, there it

Daniel Tolson 43:37
is. And we’ve got three forms of intelligence. We have a head, Brian, we have a hot Brian, and we haven’t got Brian. And when we talk about this intuition down here, this is you got Brian. Yeah. And what happens is, you’ve heard of men’s and women’s intuition, both men’s and women’s intuition in all studies are the same, right? They’re the same that equal both men and women have the same in Man of intuition. The only difference is that women tend to follow through with it more than men. Men go from the gut, straight to the head. And that’s the biggest problem. And we all know we do this. And the other thing that’s interesting world is that in business and especially in emotional intelligence, when we start to feel fee down the front of the body, this is often fees, failure of screwing things up. We get fees of rejection that we feel down the back of the body. Hmm. So I mean, emotional intelligence, you got to be aware where these feelings are coming from fear of failure, their front failure, front, fear of rejection, the lady at the back. So the body’s always talking to us, the guts talking to us, the hearts talking to us in the head brains talking to us. And this comes from neuroscience, and we’re going to begin shooting with you. So if you don’t know what your gut saying, and it’s in conflict with the head, you’re in trouble.

Robert Brus 44:55
Well, lucky, lucky. I didn’t get myself in trouble there. Absolutely.

Daniel Tolson 44:59
So then The three first pillars of emotional intelligence within moving to social IQ, social intelligence, and this is where all selling takes place. The first part of social IQ is empathy. Empathy is the ability to look at your customer, and understand why they think and feel the way that they do. It’s your ability to build rapport with them, and let them feel comfortable, to be able to create what they call in psychology is an unconditional positive regard, where they feel that they can tell you anything without any fear of criticism, wholesome fats, and that’s empathy. It’s the ability to ask a good question. And then really imagine what it would be like to live with that clients problem. Or that that how their life would be if you could achieve that goal. And the most successful salespeople, those with high levels of emotional intelligence But there was a problem and the emotional intelligence gets too high. And this is where you lose out. What happens if your emotional intelligence is too high in in my research with more than 1300 case studies, is once your emotional quotient that’s how we measure emotional intelligence starts to create about 90 and 95 points in the area of everything, you’d become an empath. And when the client says, I’m in so much pain, and I can’t afford this, and my life is terrible, you start to adopt all of that. You internalise it and then you say, I know exactly how it feels to have that pain. I know what it’s like to have no money. And what happens is because you become an empath, you stop selling. So in working with sales people all around the world. any level of emotional intelligence that below 90 points in this area down to about it is where the best salespeople are. People above 90 have major problems. Because they’ve become an empath, and they stopped selling. So empathy, this is one of the most important parts of selling. If you’re not succeeding in selling, maybe you’re not empathetic enough. Or maybe you’re too much, too much. And then the other part and we’re going to go through this in the weeks ahead, is you’ve got your social skills. And this is your ability to communicate. It’s your ability to persuade, it’s your ability to show people, this is your problem. And this is an effective solutions, all things considered tonight. And then you have to be able to show them the benefits, the results and improvements that they’ll have in their life. And never forget that human psychology has been the same for the past 6000 years of history. The only reason why people buy things is because they believe they will be better off with that product and the service then they would be without. So when it comes to social skills, Your ability to show them the benefits, the results and the improvements. And selling is successful communication. That’s why we have to have excellent emotional intelligence. That’s why we need to have excellent levels of social IQ.

Robert Brus 48:15
Awesome. Well said beautifully said. If you like what you’re hearing, make sure you hit that subscribe button

Unknown Speaker 48:21
when the bill

Unknown Speaker 48:22
gives a thumbs up and there’s another video somewhere around.

Unknown Speaker 48:25
We’re going to put

Daniel Tolson 48:27
some way over there I think so.

Unknown Speaker 48:29
Check it out over there. See